No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
