My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
