oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
