i may or may not be watching the land before time
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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