so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
