You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
i've created a new STD.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
