Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
