Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
