i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
If I die, sorry about rent.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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