turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
