No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
