just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
