after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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