weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
