I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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