I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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