Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
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I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
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I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants