Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
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I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I lost the right to judge tonight
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top