8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
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