Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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