i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
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