she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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