Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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