Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
