Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I think people are normalizing furries
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
