No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant