My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
