The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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