I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize