I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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