Apparently you make a good broom.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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