That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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