4 words: hood of his car
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I didn't notice because vodka
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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