just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
