i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
