he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
