love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
