i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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