I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
