Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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