I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
