Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
