There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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