My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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