Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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