I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
