Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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