I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
