Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Pooping to opera.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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