wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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