i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
