Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
