if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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