Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
