i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
