i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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