So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
