do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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